I love being where God has told me to be.  But, I’m not going to lie; I’m dying to go out and get a “real job.”  However, it’s undeniable that God has me where I am, and he’s blessing it—sometimes I wish that I could ignore that.

But here’s the twist—God’s provision is amazing.  (I’m trying to break my exclamation habit, otherwise I would have put one there.)  Every time we get close to the edge, living with this budget of an accountant’s nightmare, God’s provision shows up exactly when he intended it to.  Today we received an anonymous cash gift from someone at Origin, as well as a check from a church that I played at that was three times bigger than I told them I needed, and a substantial gift from another church to pay for some school bills that I wasn’t going to be able to pay.  My mind is blown.  My gas tank is full.  (I really want an exclamation).

God knows our exact needs.  I have so little faith, but he is so good to his children.  The lilies of the fields don’t fret; why do we?

I am totally lying if I say it is comfortable, but I am telling the absolute truth that there is nowhere else that we want to be than right here.  ”For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness” (Psalms 84:10).

I love this!  Since I finished school, I have started writing songs again and redoing some of my old ones so that my church can sing them—It’s amazing what not taking seven classes at once can do for you.  I’m looking forward to sharing my progress ASAP.

In addition, a lot of the time that I have freed up has given me a chance to study the Word and read a bunch; I’m totally loving that.  God has been teaching me so much.

I am a worship leader, which I have mentioned.  I have been craving understanding of what that title means—for many that title doesn’t even come close to being applicable, and I have had a deep fear of that being the case for me as well—may it never be so.

The more and more I search, the more clear and inescapable the discovery: the roll of a worship leader is simply to point people to Jesus and turn them loose.  I strive to do that every time I am put before a gathering of worshipers.  Simplistic?  No!  There is infinite depth and beauty to unfold from such a manner of leading.

There is no New Testament title of “worship leader;” Paul did not go into cities and appoint pastors, teachers, and guys-that-play-guitar-and-sing-songs.  We who do this need to be very careful to evaluate our rolls in the church.

What the New Testament does call for, in terms of roll, is people who will lead well.  This means leading a Godly life, loving the Word, “adorning the doctrine of God,” as Titus 2:10 puts it, “adorning,” meaning to make it the main thing people see, “doctrine of God,” meaning Jesus—DOCTRINE, not doctrines; it’s singular for that reason.  As a result, the art that follows will be good art.  Lets be about that worship leaders.

I’m starting my sixth paragraph.  Why have I said all of this?  It’s because I am surrounded by a community.  Even after all this time of not blogging, somehow there are still people checking in and reading my rants, and what I’m up to.  Your reasons are your own.  I do, sometimes, wonder about you, however, my fine, wonderful, perhaps somewhat crazy, friends

I want to state my trajectory and be very clear about what I’m about.  This is accountability.  It lets me share what I have worked through in my heart and head as the Lord has been teaching me.  I also want to lay a foundation over the next few months about what it means to be a worshiper.  It’s amazing how such an old idea can get so far from Biblical.

What I am doing is not cool.  It is not hip right now to have an opinion.  It is not hip to use words like doctrine.  However, I am certain that this language needs to come from the perspective of a worship leader because I am convinced that so many who “worship lead” do a better job at using the music itself to stimulate a response, a tragedy, rather than the person of Jesus, who brings people to their knees on his own terms.

I don’t know what the Lord will do in my life over the next year, but I look forward to opportunities to share my journey with anyone who cares if it gives God the glory.  I will be writing songs, taking pictures, making videos, writing blogs, and anything else I can do to communicate how incredible the God who loves to redeem us is.  Our redeemed state is to worship him.  That is so much bigger than so many of us have settled for.  Lets change that.

I am eternally impressed with Killer Whales—thank you documentaries.  The question is which you think would win a fight: a Great White or a Killer Whale.  The show went on to prove that it is indisputably the Killer Whale.  Shock and awe right?  How could Shamu take out the King of the Sea?  (Hmm… I just did a google search and apparently the term “king of the sea” is reserved for Tuna and King Triton from Little Mermaid—thank you Google image—my bad).

Anyway!  What really fascinated me was not the sheer coolness of the big black and white fish; it was the genius that is behind the way that they go about their attacks.

To kill a shark, the Orca has learned that it merely has to flip the shark on it back.  Once flipped, the Shark is paralyzed and can’t correct because a thing called tonic immobility kicks in—game over!  This actually got captured on video in the waters near San Francisco during one of the largest gathering of Great Whites on the California Coast

The most amazing thing about the event is that every one of the Great Whites in the area vanished the same day. One of the Sharks had a tracker on, and it headed straight to the continental shelf and dove 1500 feet and toward Hawaii.  Total panick!

I love that!  Doesn’t that feel like justice has been served?  I think that surfers should take up the Killer Whale as their official mascot.  It blows my mind how we continually come to know new and fascinating things about the creation around us, and the amazingness of its creatures.  It’s a beautiful thing.

I came across this quote today and it totally rocked me:

“All the beauty to be found throughout the whole creation is but the reflection of the diffused beams of that being who hath an infinite fullness of brightness and glory.  God is the foundation and fountain of all being and beauty.”  –Jonathon Edwards

I love that! I think that the guilt of giving God a tiny throne in a dusty corner of a lackluster life is the unfortunate pathology for many of us today—because we fail to see life the way Edwards described it!  God’s throne is certainly not confined to the periphery of anyone’s life.  When God is relegated to middle management we can be sure that this flows from—in the most gentle terms—a small view of god, rather than a massive view of a redeeming holy God.  It’s one thing to say that Jesus is King; it’s another thing to enjoy living on his land.  Do you know what I mean?

In light of what Edwards said about everything good being “but the reflection” of God’s glory, think about this: if we can bring to mind the best of all moments that we have ever experienced in life, we will have imagined only a dim caricature of God.  God is infinitely greater.  The fact that the Lord is, not only the giver of every good moment, but unimaginably better than the best moment, blows my mind.  My mind is blown.

It’s getting that perspective right that gets any of our ideas about serving him right.  If we miss that, we miss everything, we don’t get the gospel, we don’t understand the cross, and we cannot love his world or his people for whom he came to save.  Worship begins there.

What is up my friends! It’s good to be back. I have much to share. I could tell you a thousand stories, but I’m not going to; I just want to start by sharing about the massive shift that Jesus has been doing in my heart.

What an insane last few months. My life will never be the same. I might even—dare I say—know what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe. Lets not get crazy. What I know for sure is that Jesus is at the center of it all, and he is continuing to reshape my thinking moment by moment.

It has now been two years since a day I delved inside and pulled out the words that became a song I wrote called Blinding Light. Thinking about the words in this song, I realize that they signaled the beginning of a long process of change that God had begun in me. I was drifting into the confusion that grips our culture of complete uncertainty and doubt. It was an awful time. But God was setting me on firmer ground, removing me from sinking sand that was probably about to take me under.  Totally gripped by the truth of gospel in God’s word, and the fact that God has preserved truth in every word, I wrote:

A blinding light awakes my soul tonight
Beauty bright lovely heaven’s eyes
The haze is lifting the maze untwisting
I’m coming back to the start
Oh a peace is passing my understanding
I’m coming back to your heart
And I’m finding my life in you; I’m coming home.

That blinding light is Jesus, the light of the world, totally wrecking us for anything but him. Though we look to lesser versions, they don’t satisfy.

My life has been re-routed. I realized the misdirection, and I had to make a change. All of my iPhone GPS user friends know what I’m talking about, because they have experienced a micro version of this: “The stupid blue location dot is nowhere near the purple line! Totally lost.  Why am I in the middle of a field?  Crap.  Edit. From ‘current location.’ New ‘Route.’ Ah, peace and sanity!” Of course with the iPhone we end up doing that ten more times, but that’s another blog. The point is that I have a new clarity that I have never known my whole life.

Ok, but that was two years ago; why the sudden mention of it?

The work (sanctification) that God does in our hearts show’s its results at varied pace; I have been learning, slowly, what it means to join God on his mission, rather than trying to attach him into my life like an accessory—for sure, he is more Kinglike than capelike. I had those two confused.

All of that clarity has been sharpening into focus this whole time. Fast-forward to now. Have you ever had that moment where something previously confusing all of a sudden made perfect sense—perhaps, why women insist men lift the lid, or something like that; I had that moment over the last six months. The realization, despite my light-hearted tone, was nothing slight.

What does it mean to walk in redemption? What does it mean to tell others about redemption? What is redemption? Isn’t the Christian life redemption?—it is indeed! Isn’t redemption, the biblical promise since Genesis 3, freedom from the curse? Are not Christians to be joining with God in that redemption back to the state of how he saw it: “And God saw that it was good?” Why are Christians so caught up in what they are against, rather than what they are for? Isn’t the gospel good news? Is the Church not the body and bride of Christ? Then, shouldn’t the Church look like Christ, and be devoted to his purpose? Is there any other way for the Church to look like Christ than that it be gathered together, and living sacrificial lives toward each other and the needy? Is not the gospel the thing that unites everybody, even natural enemies, providing the basis for every good deed? Does the gospel not affect every aspect of life? Did Jesus set precedence for a life of comfort and affluence, or avoiding it for his sake? Then why do we say that we follow Christ and yet structure our lives toward that which he didn’t? Is there any motivation toward any of the previous unless you are one-hundred-thousand-percent convinced that you are justified purely by faith apart from works, on account of, none other than, Christ’s payment for your sin and righteousness to your account?

Some of my theologian readers snapped to their wide spread wrestling stance while reading the previous paragraph, due to the pervasive liberalism in the Church—calm down. I am not that, though I have been there, and have great sympathy for those, and their struggles. The gospel is doctrinal truth, internally transformative, socially revolutionary/regenerative, perfectly balanced between all three. Please, your grace is needed since my space is limited.

I love the Church. I am so completely committed to her. The bride of Christ is Christ to the world until he comes. The world God created, that he called good, is the world, which he is redeeming every aspect of. Every aspect of our lives has been redeemed for his glory; we are alive!  We live in grace as our mode of existence, and that grace, seen in every word of scripture, is the deepest beauty, infinitely to be unfolded, that he has brought into the lives of believers through the Church, that has become his visible representative to all, to come into and experience love, actually lived out between people; this is our origin in him, the point to which we must return.

To trust God is to trust his word. To trust is to stop focusing on the command to not eat of the one tree: it is to reclaim the freedom to love and enjoy fully all that he has created for and because of new life, by the Holy Spirit, because of Jesus, to the glory of God: the gospel in a sentence.

I love that I have been called to lead people to worship God.  That is my roll in the body of Christ. This is worship: that we get our eyes off of the idolatry of self, and let our desire for God shape every aspect of our lives as we enjoy him, in response to his love; our response is that we join him in his redemption of creation, every Christian on mission, bearing the name of Jesus wherever they find themselves, at all times. It is to this end that I aim to use every inch of this blog.

Grace and peace,

Elijah Stephen Meeker.

Here are 2 of my favorite worship tunes by the Wickham brother’s. Love leading these songs! “You are holy great and mighty the moon and the stars declare who you are…” And, “King of glory Lord of all your face I seek your name I call, Jesus…” So good!

So here it is…  A little bit of honesty.  This is as close to the real me as I can give you since this is straight from one of my regular worship sets.  I get the opportunity to lead worship at a bunch of different places.  When I lead at Calvary Auburn they record the worship time and I have got Chuck (their sound engineer) to graciously hand over some of those recordings.  Now, I haven’t figured out how to load the entire worship set up, and so I am just giving you one song at a time, which is probably better anyway–short and sweet right?  Anyway, there it is and I will post the rest as I get them loaded.  It’s Rough but it’s real.  Grace and Peace.

Do you do weird stuff and not know it?  Yeah you do.  It’s cuz you’re weird too.  Be honest.  I find out weird stuff about myself all of the time.

Sunday night I was leading worship at Origin.  I don’t use a music stand because I hate them—I hate having to look at a sheet of music while I’m worshiping.  I memorize it or I would prefer not play it (on occasion I use a music stand if I really need to do a song—but I’m never happy about it).  However, it would probably be better if I did use a stand because my memory is not so good.  I mess up words all the time, as many of you well know. 

We were singing “Where We Belong” Sunday night (some Hillsong goodness).  In the middle of the song, some lines that I completely was about to miss were coming up next.     But then they came to me by the strangest method—lip reading.  I almost laughed at myself mid song but we moved on.

We got to the chorus a moment later and I sang “We run to your throne where we belong…” and my mind went totally blank for the next line.  The lip reading thing happened again.  Weird!  Throughout the rest of the worship set, the same craziness kept going—totally distracting me every time. 

Now, I’m just trying to figure out how long I have been doing it and why nobody has ever freaked out at me for checking out their mouth through a whole worship set!  But see, I have said it many times, God intended corporate worship for a reason.  We need eachother!  That’s good biblical stuff and proof for it!  It’s also further affirmation that you need to sing… or that I need to get a music stand.  Something like that.  Thanks for being there for me.  Don’t you dare start covering your mouth during the worship service.  

Alright worship leaders, don’t try to steal my technique and teach it at worship conferences like it’s your own idea.  I know you want to, but I will hunt you down.  Just kidding.  But seriously.

Now, I’m not a preacher; I’m just a Christ following musical artist that blogs and leads worship and stuff—but—the Lord blows my mind!  Why the heck does he love us so much?  Here’s what’s on my mind.  I was thinking about something that I learned a while back and now I can’t get it out of my head.  The gospel is amazing!

The gospel is so crazy that the angels look at it and can’t fathom what’s going on.  The incarnation, God becoming man, Jesus leaving his thrown and taking on flesh, the Bible says that they look at this and they go nuts! 

This is freaking incredible!    

It’s this verse that I had learned about a while back (1 Peter 1:12) which says that the angels actually lust after the gospel; the word comes up as “long to look at” in our Bibles but it’s the word epithumeo, the same word that is used when Jesus says that if you even epithumeo after a woman, you’ve committed adultery.  The thing that sometimes becomes “ah whatever” in our life is the thing that the angels freak out about.  The gospel is that beautiful!  It’s gorgeous!  And we’ve been given it freely.

And here’s the biggest thing for us and the church at large—Attempts to entertain and impress don’t stand a chance.  They don’t stand a chance up against the glowing radiance of the gospel.  Martin Lloyd Jones said it so well, “The glory of the gospel is that when the Church is absolutely different from the world, she invariably attracts it.”  We are so easily distracted though aren’t we?