I love being where God has told me to be.  But, I’m not going to lie; I’m dying to go out and get a “real job.”  However, it’s undeniable that God has me where I am, and he’s blessing it—sometimes I wish that I could ignore that.

But here’s the twist—God’s provision is amazing.  (I’m trying to break my exclamation habit, otherwise I would have put one there.)  Every time we get close to the edge, living with this budget of an accountant’s nightmare, God’s provision shows up exactly when he intended it to.  Today we received an anonymous cash gift from someone at Origin, as well as a check from a church that I played at that was three times bigger than I told them I needed, and a substantial gift from another church to pay for some school bills that I wasn’t going to be able to pay.  My mind is blown.  My gas tank is full.  (I really want an exclamation).

God knows our exact needs.  I have so little faith, but he is so good to his children.  The lilies of the fields don’t fret; why do we?

I am totally lying if I say it is comfortable, but I am telling the absolute truth that there is nowhere else that we want to be than right here.  ”For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness” (Psalms 84:10).

I love this!  Since I finished school, I have started writing songs again and redoing some of my old ones so that my church can sing them—It’s amazing what not taking seven classes at once can do for you.  I’m looking forward to sharing my progress ASAP.

In addition, a lot of the time that I have freed up has given me a chance to study the Word and read a bunch; I’m totally loving that.  God has been teaching me so much.

I am a worship leader, which I have mentioned.  I have been craving understanding of what that title means—for many that title doesn’t even come close to being applicable, and I have had a deep fear of that being the case for me as well—may it never be so.

The more and more I search, the more clear and inescapable the discovery: the roll of a worship leader is simply to point people to Jesus and turn them loose.  I strive to do that every time I am put before a gathering of worshipers.  Simplistic?  No!  There is infinite depth and beauty to unfold from such a manner of leading.

There is no New Testament title of “worship leader;” Paul did not go into cities and appoint pastors, teachers, and guys-that-play-guitar-and-sing-songs.  We who do this need to be very careful to evaluate our rolls in the church.

What the New Testament does call for, in terms of roll, is people who will lead well.  This means leading a Godly life, loving the Word, “adorning the doctrine of God,” as Titus 2:10 puts it, “adorning,” meaning to make it the main thing people see, “doctrine of God,” meaning Jesus—DOCTRINE, not doctrines; it’s singular for that reason.  As a result, the art that follows will be good art.  Lets be about that worship leaders.

I’m starting my sixth paragraph.  Why have I said all of this?  It’s because I am surrounded by a community.  Even after all this time of not blogging, somehow there are still people checking in and reading my rants, and what I’m up to.  Your reasons are your own.  I do, sometimes, wonder about you, however, my fine, wonderful, perhaps somewhat crazy, friends

I want to state my trajectory and be very clear about what I’m about.  This is accountability.  It lets me share what I have worked through in my heart and head as the Lord has been teaching me.  I also want to lay a foundation over the next few months about what it means to be a worshiper.  It’s amazing how such an old idea can get so far from Biblical.

What I am doing is not cool.  It is not hip right now to have an opinion.  It is not hip to use words like doctrine.  However, I am certain that this language needs to come from the perspective of a worship leader because I am convinced that so many who “worship lead” do a better job at using the music itself to stimulate a response, a tragedy, rather than the person of Jesus, who brings people to their knees on his own terms.

I don’t know what the Lord will do in my life over the next year, but I look forward to opportunities to share my journey with anyone who cares if it gives God the glory.  I will be writing songs, taking pictures, making videos, writing blogs, and anything else I can do to communicate how incredible the God who loves to redeem us is.  Our redeemed state is to worship him.  That is so much bigger than so many of us have settled for.  Lets change that.

I came across this quote today and it totally rocked me:

“All the beauty to be found throughout the whole creation is but the reflection of the diffused beams of that being who hath an infinite fullness of brightness and glory.  God is the foundation and fountain of all being and beauty.”  –Jonathon Edwards

I love that! I think that the guilt of giving God a tiny throne in a dusty corner of a lackluster life is the unfortunate pathology for many of us today—because we fail to see life the way Edwards described it!  God’s throne is certainly not confined to the periphery of anyone’s life.  When God is relegated to middle management we can be sure that this flows from—in the most gentle terms—a small view of god, rather than a massive view of a redeeming holy God.  It’s one thing to say that Jesus is King; it’s another thing to enjoy living on his land.  Do you know what I mean?

In light of what Edwards said about everything good being “but the reflection” of God’s glory, think about this: if we can bring to mind the best of all moments that we have ever experienced in life, we will have imagined only a dim caricature of God.  God is infinitely greater.  The fact that the Lord is, not only the giver of every good moment, but unimaginably better than the best moment, blows my mind.  My mind is blown.

It’s getting that perspective right that gets any of our ideas about serving him right.  If we miss that, we miss everything, we don’t get the gospel, we don’t understand the cross, and we cannot love his world or his people for whom he came to save.  Worship begins there.

What is up my friends! It’s good to be back. I have much to share. I could tell you a thousand stories, but I’m not going to; I just want to start by sharing about the massive shift that Jesus has been doing in my heart.

What an insane last few months. My life will never be the same. I might even—dare I say—know what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe. Lets not get crazy. What I know for sure is that Jesus is at the center of it all, and he is continuing to reshape my thinking moment by moment.

It has now been two years since a day I delved inside and pulled out the words that became a song I wrote called Blinding Light. Thinking about the words in this song, I realize that they signaled the beginning of a long process of change that God had begun in me. I was drifting into the confusion that grips our culture of complete uncertainty and doubt. It was an awful time. But God was setting me on firmer ground, removing me from sinking sand that was probably about to take me under.  Totally gripped by the truth of gospel in God’s word, and the fact that God has preserved truth in every word, I wrote:

A blinding light awakes my soul tonight
Beauty bright lovely heaven’s eyes
The haze is lifting the maze untwisting
I’m coming back to the start
Oh a peace is passing my understanding
I’m coming back to your heart
And I’m finding my life in you; I’m coming home.

That blinding light is Jesus, the light of the world, totally wrecking us for anything but him. Though we look to lesser versions, they don’t satisfy.

My life has been re-routed. I realized the misdirection, and I had to make a change. All of my iPhone GPS user friends know what I’m talking about, because they have experienced a micro version of this: “The stupid blue location dot is nowhere near the purple line! Totally lost.  Why am I in the middle of a field?  Crap.  Edit. From ‘current location.’ New ‘Route.’ Ah, peace and sanity!” Of course with the iPhone we end up doing that ten more times, but that’s another blog. The point is that I have a new clarity that I have never known my whole life.

Ok, but that was two years ago; why the sudden mention of it?

The work (sanctification) that God does in our hearts show’s its results at varied pace; I have been learning, slowly, what it means to join God on his mission, rather than trying to attach him into my life like an accessory—for sure, he is more Kinglike than capelike. I had those two confused.

All of that clarity has been sharpening into focus this whole time. Fast-forward to now. Have you ever had that moment where something previously confusing all of a sudden made perfect sense—perhaps, why women insist men lift the lid, or something like that; I had that moment over the last six months. The realization, despite my light-hearted tone, was nothing slight.

What does it mean to walk in redemption? What does it mean to tell others about redemption? What is redemption? Isn’t the Christian life redemption?—it is indeed! Isn’t redemption, the biblical promise since Genesis 3, freedom from the curse? Are not Christians to be joining with God in that redemption back to the state of how he saw it: “And God saw that it was good?” Why are Christians so caught up in what they are against, rather than what they are for? Isn’t the gospel good news? Is the Church not the body and bride of Christ? Then, shouldn’t the Church look like Christ, and be devoted to his purpose? Is there any other way for the Church to look like Christ than that it be gathered together, and living sacrificial lives toward each other and the needy? Is not the gospel the thing that unites everybody, even natural enemies, providing the basis for every good deed? Does the gospel not affect every aspect of life? Did Jesus set precedence for a life of comfort and affluence, or avoiding it for his sake? Then why do we say that we follow Christ and yet structure our lives toward that which he didn’t? Is there any motivation toward any of the previous unless you are one-hundred-thousand-percent convinced that you are justified purely by faith apart from works, on account of, none other than, Christ’s payment for your sin and righteousness to your account?

Some of my theologian readers snapped to their wide spread wrestling stance while reading the previous paragraph, due to the pervasive liberalism in the Church—calm down. I am not that, though I have been there, and have great sympathy for those, and their struggles. The gospel is doctrinal truth, internally transformative, socially revolutionary/regenerative, perfectly balanced between all three. Please, your grace is needed since my space is limited.

I love the Church. I am so completely committed to her. The bride of Christ is Christ to the world until he comes. The world God created, that he called good, is the world, which he is redeeming every aspect of. Every aspect of our lives has been redeemed for his glory; we are alive!  We live in grace as our mode of existence, and that grace, seen in every word of scripture, is the deepest beauty, infinitely to be unfolded, that he has brought into the lives of believers through the Church, that has become his visible representative to all, to come into and experience love, actually lived out between people; this is our origin in him, the point to which we must return.

To trust God is to trust his word. To trust is to stop focusing on the command to not eat of the one tree: it is to reclaim the freedom to love and enjoy fully all that he has created for and because of new life, by the Holy Spirit, because of Jesus, to the glory of God: the gospel in a sentence.

I love that I have been called to lead people to worship God.  That is my roll in the body of Christ. This is worship: that we get our eyes off of the idolatry of self, and let our desire for God shape every aspect of our lives as we enjoy him, in response to his love; our response is that we join him in his redemption of creation, every Christian on mission, bearing the name of Jesus wherever they find themselves, at all times. It is to this end that I aim to use every inch of this blog.

Grace and peace,

Elijah Stephen Meeker.

Well, I have to say that I, like the rest of us, was totally shocked by the news about Michael Jackson yesterday afternoon.  I got my news from my friends on Twitter.  My buddy Brody Harper posted his reaction of shock and I got the gist of the situation.  It’s a strange new world we live in with strange new ways of receiving our info.

When I first read the tweeted news, I wasn’t sure if it was legit—Don’t get me wrong, Brody is legit.  But as more and more people started to post, the picture became a little more “what the crap?!  I can’t believe that happened!” which, I’m sure you were feeling as well—even if you didn’t use an expletive out loud.  

And what was really weird was that it was less than 6 hours after Jackson’s death that it was already old news, due to such a large amount of communication on our internet social networks between each of the people that make up our circles of friends.  Not a single bit of information that I have was from an official news medium—it was all buzz from friends.  I assume that you all aren’t making it up.

I thought some good folks had some very insightful things to say.  Steve Fee (from the band Fee) said, “Crazy thought … The ‘king of pop’ stands before the ‘King of Glory’ today … Fame redefined.”  My good friend Mark South, Pastor of Origin Church, said, “Even if we have all the resources to make our “Neverland”. We can’t run from the end but we can run to Jesus.

Both are brilliant insights.  Jesus said, “What good is it if a man gains the whole world but looses his soul.”  I’m totally reminded to take inventory of my priorities by that.  Hopefully they are, and will always be, directed toward an eternity with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  I love that our stupid social networks, with all the junk that comes across everyday, can also be used to cary that message as well.  I like “redeeming stuff” like that.  Thanks for your grace God.

Ok.  Admit it.  At some point in the last 15 years, you have sported (even if only for clever fun making purposes) a bracelet or something with the letters WWJD on it.  Of course you’re embarrassed about it—we all know that—so don’t worry.  You had good intentions I’m sure.  So don’t lie, your secret is safe here.

Here’s the bracelet that I have worn most of my life: “W.W.J.L.M.G.A.W.J.T.O.I.I.S.I.W.R.R.S.A” (What would Jesus let me get away with just this once if I said I was really, really sorry afterward?).  Yes, I have really big wrists.  Isn’t that how most of us treat righteousness?  And it sucks!  (almost as much as that stupid slogan).  It sucks because it shows such a misunderstanding of righteousness when we approach it that way.

On the other side of it, have you ever told somebody that you can’t do something because you’re a Christian?  That is the saddest answer ever.  Hey!  Come and do this with us!  Ah …no …I can’t do that …because I’m a Christian.  No!!!!!!!!  Stop it right now!  That is the worst answer ever!  Self Righteousness is what that is and it’s gross!  Lord help us!

What we should be saying is, No!!!  I WON’T do that!!!  (won’t not can’t).  I won’t do that because Jesus gave his life to set me free and I couldn’t bare to grieve his spirit that lives right here in my being; I was dead and now I am alive and have no desire for those things of that old life.

It’s like my daughter.  I over heard her playing with a friend the other day and she said something to the effect of, no, I don’t listen to that music because my mommy and daddy won’t let me.  And I thought, good girl, but what she really means is:  NOOOOOOOO!!!!  I SHAL NOT DO THAT!  FOR IT IS NOT ONE OF THE GOOD THINGS THAT MY MOTHER AND FATHER WANT FOR ME!  THEY ARE SUCH WONDERFUL AND GOOD PARENTS AND I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING THAT THEY DID NOT WANT ME TO DO.  IT WOULD BREAK THEIR HEARTS WHICH IS SOMETHING THAT I COULD NOT BARE.  AND MY DAD IS SO VERY VERY HANDSOME AND SMART AND BRAVE!!!  That’s what she was thinking ok.  I know it.  She didn’t say that but she thought it I am certain.  It’s science.

I think you guys get my point.  We get all screwed up in our thinking about righteousness and we just need to get it straight.  We need to rearrange our thinking about our works.  Religion is: I obey, therefore I am excepted.  Saving faith is:  I am excepted therefore I obey.  The chasm between those two paradigms is so incredibly vast and it affects every aspect of a person’s life.  Grace and peace as you wrestle with that.

Now, I’m not a preacher; I’m just a Christ following musical artist that blogs and leads worship and stuff—but—the Lord blows my mind!  Why the heck does he love us so much?  Here’s what’s on my mind.  I was thinking about something that I learned a while back and now I can’t get it out of my head.  The gospel is amazing!

The gospel is so crazy that the angels look at it and can’t fathom what’s going on.  The incarnation, God becoming man, Jesus leaving his thrown and taking on flesh, the Bible says that they look at this and they go nuts! 

This is freaking incredible!    

It’s this verse that I had learned about a while back (1 Peter 1:12) which says that the angels actually lust after the gospel; the word comes up as “long to look at” in our Bibles but it’s the word epithumeo, the same word that is used when Jesus says that if you even epithumeo after a woman, you’ve committed adultery.  The thing that sometimes becomes “ah whatever” in our life is the thing that the angels freak out about.  The gospel is that beautiful!  It’s gorgeous!  And we’ve been given it freely.

And here’s the biggest thing for us and the church at large—Attempts to entertain and impress don’t stand a chance.  They don’t stand a chance up against the glowing radiance of the gospel.  Martin Lloyd Jones said it so well, “The glory of the gospel is that when the Church is absolutely different from the world, she invariably attracts it.”  We are so easily distracted though aren’t we?

Can I just take a second to brag about my friends?  Ok, I will.  Car trouble has obviously been nuts for us the last few months and, as of this week, both of my cars are dead.  Dead.  Dead.  Dead. (You’ve seen one of them still sitting in the Nugget parking lot for the last week, and I apologize, I will take care of that soon).  Celestial and I are currently sharing my mom’s car—Thanks mom!

Now, some friends of ours came over the other night and totally totally blessed us (I don’t think they want us to mention their names, so I will have to leave them being know affectionately as “Some Friends”). 

How did they bless us?  Well, knowing that we are poor artists supported by ministry, and being moved by the Spirit of God (who also knows that we are poor artists supported by ministry) they offered us a bunch of money to put toward getting a new car or (if possible) fixing both cars up to good running condition again.  Is that awesome or what?!  And it was that same day that Celestial and I had realized that we had no solution.  We simply reminded each other that God has always taken care of us and that he will continue to do just that.  The Lord is Amazing! 

Now, here’s what I love the most.  This is the best picture of Acts 2:44-45 that I have personally seen in a long time.  They were in community together, living lives closely enough that needs were obvious.  And they gave up whatever they could to help those in need. 

This is so cool.  This is the love that Jesus was talking about that would set Christians apart from the world.  It was the believers in need that the Christians were giving to.  Acts 2:47.  After it describes all the giving that the believers had going on amongst each other it says, “And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.”  As we live together and genuinely love each other like this, that’s when the offensiveness of the gospel becomes attractive—it calls us sinners; it says that it’s the only way; it tells us to give up everything, but then look how beautiful it is when it is lived out!

Thanks for letting me brag about my friends.  I think they get it and how awesome would the Church be if the rest of us lived more like that—me and you.  I am totally humbled.  So, what’s your story?  Have you seen the gospel being lived like that lately?  

I read a sort of blog post just now from my friend Susan who was counseling a 20 year old girl considering an abortion.  I will give you some context and then share my thoughts.  Forgive me if you think it overly dramatic.  I’m kind of dramatic.    

Quoting the young woman, Susan said, “She is very anxious and scared because a pregnancy would complicate her life.” 

Amen, Amen!!!  Is “complicate” not the understatement of the century?!  As christians, can we just be stinking honest with people and tell them straight up, Heck Yes!  This child is going to mess you up!  Your life will never be the same.  He or she is going to emphasize every single weakness that you have and you are going to feel it every day for the rest of your life!  For the first time, you will reach a hand up in the air, and then you will bring it down until it clutches a fist full of your own firmly attached hair.  Then you will try to yank it out as if somehow that act will inspire civility within the young one in front of you.  And it wont.  You will ponder often, sometimes for hours, how it is possible for a human so small to be so brilliant and stupid at the same time.  And you will come up with nothing close to an answer!  And now you’re the one feeling stupid.    

And it’s going to be the biggest blessing that you have ever had.

You will never understand the love of Christ more than you will as a parent raising and caring for a human life.  At birth, your mind will be blown because you wont even be able contain the complexities of why you love this one that you have never even met.  So.  Incredibly.  Much.  You will try, but you won’t get it because it’s God.  We don’t get God.  You will learn about real love—not the Hollywood love—real love, the kind that lasts forever.  And you will read silly books, that really are silly, but you won’t care because you care so much for your kid.  And you will cling to Jesus!  Because, after you are done reading the silly books, and have done everything that they said, you realize that your kids are still bad.  But they’re so sweet.  It’s sin!  And Jesus paid for that (penal substitutionary atonement) and so you will understand more about the grace of God, causing you to cling to Jesus everyday—even more.  It’s awesome.  And it’s weird.  It’s amazing!  And it’s totally a mystery.  Most certainly, the choice to raise a child has never been regretted by any sane person.

Let’s just be honest with our friends that have questions:  Parenting is hell but the rewards are heaven.  Anybody care to concur …or not?                              

I was thinking about worship today—Weird since I’m a worship leader right?!  Yeah, every once in a while I think about the topic instead of just singing it.  The biblical principal that I was considering was that we are to have no other God’s before him.  We Christians, if we have been believers for more than a day, probably are quite clear that Worship of God is the reason that we exist—The familiar Westminster Catechism: the chief end of man is to glorify God. 

However, I think we do a funny thing.  We think that we can demonstrate this “worshiping God first” idea in a list.  My life consists of:

Family

Friends

Work

School

countrywide home loans

Grande Vanilla Mocha’s

Hobbies

Entertainment

Etc.

And then we insert “GOD!!!” in an exclaimed fashion at the top of the list and say, “Done!  I have put God first.”  Pure silliness really!  That’s not how it works, come’ on.  God doesn’t even want to be on the list.  He is the list my friends!  We should scribble out the list and right “JESUS” right over the entire thing in huge letters, right? 

Remember the parables that Jesus taught?  A man finds a Pearl and sells everything to buy it.  A man finds a field with treasure and he sells everything and buys it.  That’s worship!  What you are willing to give up in order to gain something determines how much you value the thing you’re gaining.

We tend to think more in terms of spoken or asserted values and less in terms of demonstrated values.  Since I say that God is the most important thing in my life it doesn’t matter that I sin my brains out and don’t do anything for the Kingdom of God.  God is the most important thing to me and what I do doesn’t matter.  Craziness!!!

Instead of Loving the Lord completely with no other God’s before him we think, I will love all my other God’s less.  Friends, loving your idols less is not the idea.  True worship is taking every aspect of your life—each item on that list—and letting God purge it unless it can be devoted to the Glory of God.  That is worship!  Everything for him!  “And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do all for the Glory of God.”  It is a challenge. 

Here’s the thing to think about.  What thing in your life (and mine) would you not give up in order to live for Jesus?  Whatever that thing is or those things are, it is that which you actually worship most.

That is back breaking conviction in my life!  That is why we need the Grace of Jesus Christ, is it not?  Jesus modeled it first.  He came and gave everything to purchase us to himself by the cross.  It is only by having the power of his life in us that we stand a chance at surmounting the pull of the crazy amount of idols that vie for our worship. Hudson Taylor, the great missionary of the 1800’s in China, said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep in order to gain that which he cannot loose.”

Anyway, that was my thought.  Any thoughts?