I love this!  Since I finished school, I have started writing songs again and redoing some of my old ones so that my church can sing them—It’s amazing what not taking seven classes at once can do for you.  I’m looking forward to sharing my progress ASAP.

In addition, a lot of the time that I have freed up has given me a chance to study the Word and read a bunch; I’m totally loving that.  God has been teaching me so much.

I am a worship leader, which I have mentioned.  I have been craving understanding of what that title means—for many that title doesn’t even come close to being applicable, and I have had a deep fear of that being the case for me as well—may it never be so.

The more and more I search, the more clear and inescapable the discovery: the roll of a worship leader is simply to point people to Jesus and turn them loose.  I strive to do that every time I am put before a gathering of worshipers.  Simplistic?  No!  There is infinite depth and beauty to unfold from such a manner of leading.

There is no New Testament title of “worship leader;” Paul did not go into cities and appoint pastors, teachers, and guys-that-play-guitar-and-sing-songs.  We who do this need to be very careful to evaluate our rolls in the church.

What the New Testament does call for, in terms of roll, is people who will lead well.  This means leading a Godly life, loving the Word, “adorning the doctrine of God,” as Titus 2:10 puts it, “adorning,” meaning to make it the main thing people see, “doctrine of God,” meaning Jesus—DOCTRINE, not doctrines; it’s singular for that reason.  As a result, the art that follows will be good art.  Lets be about that worship leaders.

I’m starting my sixth paragraph.  Why have I said all of this?  It’s because I am surrounded by a community.  Even after all this time of not blogging, somehow there are still people checking in and reading my rants, and what I’m up to.  Your reasons are your own.  I do, sometimes, wonder about you, however, my fine, wonderful, perhaps somewhat crazy, friends

I want to state my trajectory and be very clear about what I’m about.  This is accountability.  It lets me share what I have worked through in my heart and head as the Lord has been teaching me.  I also want to lay a foundation over the next few months about what it means to be a worshiper.  It’s amazing how such an old idea can get so far from Biblical.

What I am doing is not cool.  It is not hip right now to have an opinion.  It is not hip to use words like doctrine.  However, I am certain that this language needs to come from the perspective of a worship leader because I am convinced that so many who “worship lead” do a better job at using the music itself to stimulate a response, a tragedy, rather than the person of Jesus, who brings people to their knees on his own terms.

I don’t know what the Lord will do in my life over the next year, but I look forward to opportunities to share my journey with anyone who cares if it gives God the glory.  I will be writing songs, taking pictures, making videos, writing blogs, and anything else I can do to communicate how incredible the God who loves to redeem us is.  Our redeemed state is to worship him.  That is so much bigger than so many of us have settled for.  Lets change that.

What is up my friends! It’s good to be back. I have much to share. I could tell you a thousand stories, but I’m not going to; I just want to start by sharing about the massive shift that Jesus has been doing in my heart.

What an insane last few months. My life will never be the same. I might even—dare I say—know what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe. Lets not get crazy. What I know for sure is that Jesus is at the center of it all, and he is continuing to reshape my thinking moment by moment.

It has now been two years since a day I delved inside and pulled out the words that became a song I wrote called Blinding Light. Thinking about the words in this song, I realize that they signaled the beginning of a long process of change that God had begun in me. I was drifting into the confusion that grips our culture of complete uncertainty and doubt. It was an awful time. But God was setting me on firmer ground, removing me from sinking sand that was probably about to take me under.  Totally gripped by the truth of gospel in God’s word, and the fact that God has preserved truth in every word, I wrote:

A blinding light awakes my soul tonight
Beauty bright lovely heaven’s eyes
The haze is lifting the maze untwisting
I’m coming back to the start
Oh a peace is passing my understanding
I’m coming back to your heart
And I’m finding my life in you; I’m coming home.

That blinding light is Jesus, the light of the world, totally wrecking us for anything but him. Though we look to lesser versions, they don’t satisfy.

My life has been re-routed. I realized the misdirection, and I had to make a change. All of my iPhone GPS user friends know what I’m talking about, because they have experienced a micro version of this: “The stupid blue location dot is nowhere near the purple line! Totally lost.  Why am I in the middle of a field?  Crap.  Edit. From ‘current location.’ New ‘Route.’ Ah, peace and sanity!” Of course with the iPhone we end up doing that ten more times, but that’s another blog. The point is that I have a new clarity that I have never known my whole life.

Ok, but that was two years ago; why the sudden mention of it?

The work (sanctification) that God does in our hearts show’s its results at varied pace; I have been learning, slowly, what it means to join God on his mission, rather than trying to attach him into my life like an accessory—for sure, he is more Kinglike than capelike. I had those two confused.

All of that clarity has been sharpening into focus this whole time. Fast-forward to now. Have you ever had that moment where something previously confusing all of a sudden made perfect sense—perhaps, why women insist men lift the lid, or something like that; I had that moment over the last six months. The realization, despite my light-hearted tone, was nothing slight.

What does it mean to walk in redemption? What does it mean to tell others about redemption? What is redemption? Isn’t the Christian life redemption?—it is indeed! Isn’t redemption, the biblical promise since Genesis 3, freedom from the curse? Are not Christians to be joining with God in that redemption back to the state of how he saw it: “And God saw that it was good?” Why are Christians so caught up in what they are against, rather than what they are for? Isn’t the gospel good news? Is the Church not the body and bride of Christ? Then, shouldn’t the Church look like Christ, and be devoted to his purpose? Is there any other way for the Church to look like Christ than that it be gathered together, and living sacrificial lives toward each other and the needy? Is not the gospel the thing that unites everybody, even natural enemies, providing the basis for every good deed? Does the gospel not affect every aspect of life? Did Jesus set precedence for a life of comfort and affluence, or avoiding it for his sake? Then why do we say that we follow Christ and yet structure our lives toward that which he didn’t? Is there any motivation toward any of the previous unless you are one-hundred-thousand-percent convinced that you are justified purely by faith apart from works, on account of, none other than, Christ’s payment for your sin and righteousness to your account?

Some of my theologian readers snapped to their wide spread wrestling stance while reading the previous paragraph, due to the pervasive liberalism in the Church—calm down. I am not that, though I have been there, and have great sympathy for those, and their struggles. The gospel is doctrinal truth, internally transformative, socially revolutionary/regenerative, perfectly balanced between all three. Please, your grace is needed since my space is limited.

I love the Church. I am so completely committed to her. The bride of Christ is Christ to the world until he comes. The world God created, that he called good, is the world, which he is redeeming every aspect of. Every aspect of our lives has been redeemed for his glory; we are alive!  We live in grace as our mode of existence, and that grace, seen in every word of scripture, is the deepest beauty, infinitely to be unfolded, that he has brought into the lives of believers through the Church, that has become his visible representative to all, to come into and experience love, actually lived out between people; this is our origin in him, the point to which we must return.

To trust God is to trust his word. To trust is to stop focusing on the command to not eat of the one tree: it is to reclaim the freedom to love and enjoy fully all that he has created for and because of new life, by the Holy Spirit, because of Jesus, to the glory of God: the gospel in a sentence.

I love that I have been called to lead people to worship God.  That is my roll in the body of Christ. This is worship: that we get our eyes off of the idolatry of self, and let our desire for God shape every aspect of our lives as we enjoy him, in response to his love; our response is that we join him in his redemption of creation, every Christian on mission, bearing the name of Jesus wherever they find themselves, at all times. It is to this end that I aim to use every inch of this blog.

Grace and peace,

Elijah Stephen Meeker.

So here it is…  A little bit of honesty.  This is as close to the real me as I can give you since this is straight from one of my regular worship sets.  I get the opportunity to lead worship at a bunch of different places.  When I lead at Calvary Auburn they record the worship time and I have got Chuck (their sound engineer) to graciously hand over some of those recordings.  Now, I haven’t figured out how to load the entire worship set up, and so I am just giving you one song at a time, which is probably better anyway–short and sweet right?  Anyway, there it is and I will post the rest as I get them loaded.  It’s Rough but it’s real.  Grace and Peace.

It sucks to be a dad and a guy.  Weird statement?  Yeah I know.  But it makes sense when you think about how lame it is to be a guy, knowing how the guy mind works, realizing that the eyes in front of the minds of all those creatures are going to be looking at your daughter.  I say again!  It sucks to be a dad and a guy!  

Have I told you that I have a beautiful little girl named Avonlea Joy?  Greatest 6 year old girl ever (put a disputingcomment up and we can throw down).  The pic above (iPhone pic represent!) is her.  She’s spinning around in H&M after she put on her new dress and she was being absolutely adorable.   

So there in lies my dilemma.  As a dad I have a God given desire to love and protect her but as a guy I know that all guys suck.  They do!  It’s true.  Your son.  Your father.  Your brother.  Your uncle.  Definitely your uncle!  Your uncle for sure!  They are guys and that’s that.  We are sick people.  What?!  It’s our burden.  Thank God for his purifying grace and power to change.

So!  What do you do?  My daughter is only in the 2^nd grade and I’m already freaked out about little punk 7 year olds talking to her on the playground.  Excuse me young man, can you stop talking to my daughter and go play with a truck or something because my daughter doesn’t get to talk to boys until she’s older—older as, eligible for congress, older—so go play or wait a while. 

My daughter and I go on dates.  We went on a date last night and we had a great time.  I am trying to set her dating patterns now but she’s pretty clever and sometimes senses what I’m up to.  “Avonlea!  Of course all pretty girls wear nun habits and Muslim head coverings when they go on dates.  Look, it’s fun to be completely covered up from head to toe—It’s like hide and seek!  Why don’t you believe me?”  So my attempts don’t always work out, but I try.  So, I bought her a pretty dress, instead.   Shopping at the mall was the first event on our date schedule.

We walk and talk and get treats and go to the movies and get dinner and dessert.  Every time we get to a door I open it.  If I don’t—don’t worry—she definitely.  Definitely.  Definitely lets me know it.  And so I try not to forget.

Ultimately (jokes aside) I just want to be Jesus to her.  My hope is that she starts to learn now what if feels like to be treated like a daughter of the King.  Respected.  Encouraged.  Blessed.  Served.  Fought for.  Sought after.  Listened to.  Honored.  Hollywood is doing their darndest to give her a different picture of the perfect date so the challenge is no easy one.

A cheesy Renee Zellweger movie that I saw the other day gave me my new favorite line.  A father whose daughter was about to go to prom gives a Fatherly talk to the boy that’s going to take her.  Looking him right in the eye, he says, as stern and believable as can be, “You go ahead and have a good time tonight but know that whatever you do to her I will do to you.”  Yes!  That’s what I’m talking about!  That’s my line right there!  I love it.

Here’s a little picture of my daughter Avonlea.  These are the words for a song that I wrote about her perspective on the world (as I observed her perspective) when she was only 2.  It’s amazing how fitting that the lyrics still are—maybe more so now.  She’s totally special, you’ll see what I mean right away. 

My girl thinks She’s 17 walking around like she knows everything

Smelling the roses striking the poses

Everyone glancing watching her dancing

My girl she’s a beauty queen inside outside everything

She’s zany and sassy—quiet is passé

She’s living like she doesn’t care about anything

But when she walks down the street

She thinks everything’s so sweet

She thinks that life is nothing more than a big mystery

And she says

What a wonderful world scenes of plenty painted pink and purple

What a wonderful world laughter and love smiling faces everyone

Every place there is someone.  Everybody see like Avonlea

My girl lives in her dream world stars shine down in shimmer swirl

Magic places and fantasy faces

Sweepn’ her deep into nowhere land

My girl she’s my lovy dove heaven’s kiss coming from above

It’s a beautiful pleasure holding your treasure

Her smile to me is poetry

But when she walks down the street

She thinks everything’s so sweet

She thinks that life is nothing more than a big mystery

And she says

What a wonderful world scenes of plenty painted pink and purple

What a wonderful world laughter and love smiling faces everyone

Every place there is someone.  Everybody see like Avonlea

You know the day is passing by way too fast

Savor the moment then make it the past

Soon very soon it’ll be past noon

The heavens loom our star dims to soon

Do you do weird stuff and not know it?  Yeah you do.  It’s cuz you’re weird too.  Be honest.  I find out weird stuff about myself all of the time.

Sunday night I was leading worship at Origin.  I don’t use a music stand because I hate them—I hate having to look at a sheet of music while I’m worshiping.  I memorize it or I would prefer not play it (on occasion I use a music stand if I really need to do a song—but I’m never happy about it).  However, it would probably be better if I did use a stand because my memory is not so good.  I mess up words all the time, as many of you well know. 

We were singing “Where We Belong” Sunday night (some Hillsong goodness).  In the middle of the song, some lines that I completely was about to miss were coming up next.     But then they came to me by the strangest method—lip reading.  I almost laughed at myself mid song but we moved on.

We got to the chorus a moment later and I sang “We run to your throne where we belong…” and my mind went totally blank for the next line.  The lip reading thing happened again.  Weird!  Throughout the rest of the worship set, the same craziness kept going—totally distracting me every time. 

Now, I’m just trying to figure out how long I have been doing it and why nobody has ever freaked out at me for checking out their mouth through a whole worship set!  But see, I have said it many times, God intended corporate worship for a reason.  We need eachother!  That’s good biblical stuff and proof for it!  It’s also further affirmation that you need to sing… or that I need to get a music stand.  Something like that.  Thanks for being there for me.  Don’t you dare start covering your mouth during the worship service.  

Alright worship leaders, don’t try to steal my technique and teach it at worship conferences like it’s your own idea.  I know you want to, but I will hunt you down.  Just kidding.  But seriously.

Photo By Celestial Alta

You know what will make you feel old?  Your younger sister getting married, that will do it.  Yep.  Amanda, my baby sister, she’s getting married tomorrow, but she’s only eleven.  Well, she’s not, but that’s how old she still is in my mind.  Where did the time go?  I taught her how to ride a bike and now she’s getting married?!  Hmmm… that’s weird stuff.

I am proud of her though.  And I actually do see her as a mature woman now, because she is.  After I moved out of my parents house, I remember visiting one day when it dawned on me that my little sister was now more like a peer than a kid.  We had similar interests and laughed at the same stupid stuff.  

Her birthday party that year is what really gained her some massive respect.  In a really witty and creative way, she and her friend masterfully planned a surprise birthday party. 

For themselves! 

Yeah, they completely befuddled the entire guest list.  She and her friend walked in, yelled surprise and everybody suddenly realized that they were actually attending a reverse surprise party—my sister’s own brainchild of genius.  So good!  And now she’s getting married.  And of course I’m playing music at the festivities! 

Oh man.  It’s not easy.  I have a lot of older brother emotions that have to do with baseball bats and shotguns.  But I also have a lot of excitement for the next steps of her life.  That’s all drenched in prayer and hope, a little bit of worry, but mostly the knowledge that God is going to bless her, that he has his hand on her, and their marriage.  The greatest part about my sister is that she follows Jesus and wants what he has for her life.  But I still have my older brother thoughts to get past, so I will work on that and keep a close eye on her—and her guy—in the meantime.  Anybody been there?

Well, I hope your weekend was good.  Mine was busy as always.  The wedding that celestial and I did photography and music at (respectively) was quite entertaining.  The highlight, for me, was the Father/Daughter dance that suddenly turned into a reenactment of THIS.  It was pretty cool.  And it was cute and stuff too.

Oh!  Another highlight, that was less cool, was Celest and me trying to share the roles of parent while simultaneously tending to our respective duties at the wedding.  “I can’t watch them right now; I have to play the song for the couples first dance.”  “Well I can’t watch them right now; I have to take the pictures of the first dance.”  “Hmmm… that  grandpa over there looks nice enough; maybe we can ask him for help.  Yeah, he is pretty drunk; he might say yes.  Yeah that’s probably not a good idea.  Ok, instead, we’ll just let them run around like crazy.  Awesome!     

Actually, joking aside, they did pretty great and waited patiently every time Celest and I were occupied at the same time.  We hit up Big Spoon afterward. 

Today was good as well.  I usually play acoustic, but this morning at bayside I pulled out the Teli and had a good time worshiping the Lord with some electric noise.  I’m probably going to start leading that way from now on—at Bayside.  I don’t know if the coffee house that Origin meets at is quite ready for the Electric.  We’ll see.  So how was your weekend?  Any big plans for this week?      

So, it’s wedding season apparently, and Celestial is booking them like crazy.  And she’s shooting another one tomorrow (which I happen to be playing at as well).  I just wanted to take this opportunity to throw some of Celestials work up on this blog—Hmmm… not like throw-up… I didn’t mean that.  I mean… I wanted throw her awesome work…  ah… on.  Yeah on.  this blog.  Throwing it on!  Bring it on!  I’m taking this opportunity to say hey! my wife is awesome and look what she can do with wedding pictures.  Ok… I should be in bed right now, but, whatever.  Check out these pics and let me know what you think.  Grace and Peace!

Happy Saturday to you!  Here’s my quick little EP (short CD) update for any who are interested.  Remember how I had planned on releasing it in January—Is it January yet?  Oh yeah, it’s pretty much half a year past January.  My bad!  

But, thank the Lord, I have been able to get back to work on it after putting it on the shelf for the last couple months and last night I got a substantial portion of the vocal work done between the hours of 12:00AM and 5:00AM—Very sweet hours for recording!

Anyway, I will keep you posted.  Right now (on a different note) I’m off to do another wedding shoot with Celestial.  Photography has been a pretty great new addition to my artistic world over the last few months.  I’m almost good with a  camera—almost.    

I do love the many ways that the Lord has given us to express our joy (and sometimes pain and other negative emotions because of sin) over life and love.  Art is such a cool thing, even if it takes us a while to put it into a CD sometimes.  Anybody else working on a project of an artistic nature?